Merry Christmas 2023 : Peace

Peace: Doesn't it seem elusive? And yet this time of year we talk about it all the time. 

-The Prince of Peace

-World Peace

-Inner Peace

-Find your own Peace

-A Peace of Pie...ha, I'm kidding

We attended two Christmas Eve services because I love our home church but also wanted to attend with Emma and Joe at their home church, Revival. Their pastor spoke about peace (Shalom). He wrote it out in Hebrew and talked about each symbol which gave such a clear view of what true peace is.

Reading from right to left the symbols are

shin - destroy

lamed - authority

vav - attached

mem - chaos

"destroy the authority attached to chaos"

Oh I love this! Isn't that beautiful? The Prince of Peace is one who came to destroy the authority attached to chaos. The Prince of Darkness causes all chaos and Jesus has overcome the evil one. We can find our peace rooted in Jesus. When googling "peace" I get words like "quiet, tranquility, serenity, ease". To be honest my life does not look like those words but in the midst of my loud, difficult, jumbled life I can find peace in Jesus. I am choosing peace. 

 

passing the light is my

favorite Christmas tradition

My Church 

This peanut brings so much joy!

Christmas Eve services with the Marvins

Christmas Eve Eve

After a day of eating, gifts and games we went for a walk in Aksarben to look at lights and ultimately get cupcakes at Jones Bros, which was probably Joe's plan all along. As you can see, Chris is in shorts. It wasn't that nice, he is just crazy. That said, it was a very nice day for late December in Nebraska.

Poor Papa spent Christmas in the hospital

But he enjoyed teasing Joe that he had a much larger room

Finding the silver lining where you can

After 10 days at Methodist hospital Papa is headed home today. There will be some changes with food and exercise and maybe medical treatment but we are so thankful for God protection. 

cookie decorating

Show choir "family" christmas

They made me judge their gingerbread houses. In true show choir fashion we had a drum roll then 2nd runner up, 1st runner up and champion. Ha! These kids are so funny!

All in all we had a wonderful Christmas and look forward to celebrating with the extended Raabe family in January. We haven’t seen my mom over Christmas in more than 7 years since she always chooses to be in Texas with Larry. Seriously, sunshine and warm weather doesn’t sound bad in December. We were supposed to see mom in Small town Kansas on December 26th until Mother Nature changed our plans with 100% snow packed highways. 

”For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.“

‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭9‬:‭6‬ ‭NIV‬‬

 

She’s Comin’ Back

 

It’s been 6 mo since Dr. Claire repaired Reagan‘s ACL in the Operating room. This is not an easy journey! With any surgery there’s pain, swelling, loss of strength, loss of normal activities, but for an athlete such as my daughter, this surgery also represents potentially losing your dream and sitting on the sidelines for your entire senior soccer season. The emotional toil is tremendous. 

It's December and she will be graduating in just a couple weeks with a BS in Nutrition and Exercise Health Science. In just the last few weeks Reagan has decided to stay for her 5th year at Nebraska. This will allow her to start her master's degree while under scholarship and get back on the pitch. As long as I can remember, Reagan's dream has been set beyond college soccer, she has wanted to play in the pros. Going back one more year will give her the chance to complete her ACL rehab and show the world that SHE IS BACK!!! 

This young woman has dealt with some true trials over the last few years but it is in the fire that we are refined. She will come through this better than she was before. God doesn't leave us alone in our dark days, He is right there to help us, grow us and strengthen us. God is good all the time.

I for one am looking forward to cheering on my favorite Husker for one more year. 

GO BIG RED!!!

The Rona Strikes Again

 

I truly had started believing I was immune to this virus. After all I had been in close contact with 2 infected people, 3 if you count Reagan back in Nov 2019. (There's no proof she had it but makes sense that she did. That's a story for another time.) It's hard to say from where or from whom I contracted the dreaded thing but it found me. It found Olivia too! We kept quiet because of our experience when Chris got sick. The haters, the know it alls, the judgy-judgers, those more "woke" were too much to take but it's time to tell most of our story.  I don't ever put everything in writing.

How it started: One night of fever. One day of a tickle in my throat. And then the headache, oh the headache! Which symptoms did I have? Almost all of them. Was I horribly sick? No, but I started to say I might die. Chris disagreed with my diagnosis of possible death. I wouldn't wish anyone to feel the way I felt but I am glad I finally got "it" and it's over. Remember Chris had Rona back in November? He didn't get it again from me...he has the antibodies. People forget, that is a real thing!!! My body hurt, my head hurt, my eyeballs hurt. I wasn't hungry, everything tasted terrible. I lost 15 pounds but then most of it managed to find me again. :(  I couldn't think. I was lonely, except for the cats. Still, I am glad we got it. Olivia, of coarse, wasn't as bad as me. She's a kid and although there have been a few serious cases in (healthy) children, they typically bounce back in no time. The quarantine for Liv might have been worse than the actual illness. 

How it ended: One day I was sure I might die and the next I was 97% better. How? My dear friend brought me a bag full of remedies. Bone broth, Emergen-C, Gatorade, Zinc and a couple meds that have been around for ages. Guess what? THEY WORKED!!  Guess what else? THEY ARE CHEAP!! I almost didn't take them because I was fearful. As I sit here remembering those days I am almost in tears. It was awful but here's the thing, I could have been better days sooner if I had taken the TWO doses of medicine earlier. 

Why are people dying and suffering needlessly?

Do you really want to know?

$ $ $ .  POWER .  CONTROL

We could be healing the majority of Rona victims.

This breaks my heart.

(Btw, we can disagree and still be friends, that's still a thing too)

Walking from the living room to the back deck was all I could handle for many days but the sun brought comfort. It's important to get up and walk even though it's the last thing you want to do. Keep those lungs working and any tiny bit of endorphins you can produce will help (emotionally) make it through to the next day. Pray for those who are sick, lonely and fearful. This thing is here and it isn't going away. No mask and no jab will make it disappear. 

Pray

Eat to fuel your body

Exercise

Laugh

Turn off the news

All these things will help you feel better

Bucket List Item: Half Marathon

6:30am Friday: Fly to North Carolina

10:30am Friday: Drive to South Carolina

4:30pm Friday: Great Dinner in Lexington 

8:00pm Friday: Early to bed

7:30am Saturday: The fast people start

7:40ish am Saturday: Us slow people start

13.1 miles, one potty break and rock in shoe x2

2 hours 53 min later: I FINISH

2:30pm Saturday: Drive back to North Carolina (our “travel agent” may not have realized which state were were running in...Lexington, N.C. or Lexington, S.C. Yikes!)

6:25pm Saturday: Fly to Nebraska

Melanie . Linda Boden . April Binder . Kim Weeks

Why did I do this you ask? It’s been a bucket list item for me since I tore my hamstrings off the bone back in 2017. My goal was to train and run the whole thing. Along comes my long time crazy Marathon running friend April, who basically begged me to go on this trip, promising me that it’s ok if I have to walk some. My fitness level did not allow me to run the full 13.1 miles. Plan to succeed they say, so my plan was to run .75 of each mile and walk .25. It was a good plan and for the most part that’s what I did...until Mile 11. At 10:13am I was ready to throw in the towel. That’s when some serious soul searching and total reliance on God kicked in. I made it up the last hill, down the straightaway to the baseball field and then the finish line was in sight. I wanted to stop but the desire to finish was stronger. April crossed the finish line 1 hour and 2 minutes before me. As I made my way under the arch, there she stood proudly cheering on her best friend. 

My face doesn’t show it but I was sooo nervous! 

My face doesn’t show it but my feet might fall off

Heaviest medal I have ever lifted

Got home to this precious girl and sign

Will I do it again? Not sure, but if I do I want to run it all!

 “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭12:9‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Rona 2020

I know people are calling it Covid-19 but I'm working on not being a follower!

It's challenging to put into words what this world-wide pandemic means to me or has done to me or has done to us. I have mixed feelings about who is speaking truth. Furthermore, those who are in charge or making suggestions do they even know the full truth. 

Let go back two months. On the morning of Thursday, March 12th we were packed and ready to head south to Oklahoma and then on to Arkansas to watch Reagan play in her first D1 collegiate soccer game. A couple days earlier she had text me looking for encouragement, she was FULL of nerves. Her first time EVER taking the field in a Husker jersey and she would be facing the SEC 2019 champions. Nebraska was full of injuries and Reagan thought she would be playing the full 90 minutes. What a huge undertaking for our little freshman. While the excitement of Reagan's dreams coming true was on our minds, the Corona virus had penetrated US boundaries. What was once something infecting thousands in China had become a threat to the entire world. 

The TIMELINE...

Thursday 3/12 Morning: could we take Olivia's friend with us or would they let only family attend college games

Thursday: Our local school district cancelled school Friday and the following 2 weeks and then all classes would move to eLearning

Thursday Noon: SEC cancelled the game 

Thursday Afternoon: NCAA cancelled all college sports through the rest of the school year

From there on things would change daily or hourly. Stores closing. Social Distancing. Stay home mandates. It became the norm to have things taken away without discussion, it just happened. But when I look back to that Thursday morning, I can't believe the incredible amount of change in just 8 hours.

All 3 of my children are (we’re) doing on-line schooling. Chris is (was) teaching online. Nobody really likes it and I doubt that there is a lot of learning happening. This isn't a cliche, I am praying for school (the kind they physically attend) to start up on time in August.

What am I doing? Oddly enough I started out this time of quarantine/stay-at-home, leaving the house everyday to work in the office. My co-worker was quarantined due to a sick child so I became a 45 hour per week employee. Let me say "thank you Lord for a job" when so many are now on unemployment but those hours kicked my butt! 

I am not scared of the Rona but I do fear what the cure is doing to our country. Ten million plus people went on unemployment in the matter of one week, I have no idea what those numbers are now. Calls to the suicide hotline are 600 percent above normal. People are missing important events. Surgeries are shut down. My friend's mom is suddenly dying in the hospital and they are unable to go say good-bye. The stock market has plummeted. Neighbors are calling in to report gatherings of people, even children in a park. We need to get the world open again. Nebraska shut down early and doesn't have the enormous population of New York or California so we don't have the same problems they have.

Oh come Jesus, bring a revolution to this hurting world. I pray for families to reunite, the more simplistic life to be sought and lives to be redeemed in Christ Jesus. 

Here are a few pictures from the last coupe of months.

Moving Reagan home but
thinking it was temporary

Quick trip to see Emma

Churches Closed
Online church

This is how we hang out
with friends . . . ZOOM

Lots of Family Time

What families do now...

eat together

play games

take walks

watch movies

***maybe God is rebuilding the family***

Keeping our immune systems strong

Almost seems like TRUTH

Reagan's Husker meetings

Omaha gets 8" of snow on April 16th...that's weird!

This is what eLearning looks like

Easter with Nana & Papa

Flowers from a friend after oral surgery

Planting all my outdoor pots

Mother's Day was complete, all 3 girls were home.

Nebraska is slowly opening back up. I finally got a hair cut and we have gone out to a restaurant a couple times. Lots and lots of people wear masks, for the most part, I don’t. I’m concerned about the mental health of so many, including myself. This is hard but God is good. My bible verse today was Matthew 6:25. The first line says, “Therefore do not worry about your life...” Yes, this message is one I need daily.

I am sorry for anyone who has had a run in with the rona.  I hear it’s really bad for a few people. I am certain Reagan had it in December right before going to college. She was awfully ill but recovered like a champ. I’m praying for healing of body, spirit and mind. Lord, may we look to you and trust in your ways.

Be well & Be a blessing!

Wrapping up December Activities

Just a random post of pictures and comments from December.

The biggest change to the Raabe home this year is the addition of little Luna. She is a 4 month old kitten from the Human Society. She's from the streets and able to take Bella to task. This bundle of energy is driving our 8 year old resident kitty crazy! We love her!

Reagan being brave with Bella and Luna

Olivia's ice skating birthday party

Emma is home for Christmas break!!!!!!

Our girl needs some down time...no school, no work, no drama just lots of hugs, lots of laughs and some good home cookin'. 

After she had a couple days of R&R the wisdom teeth came out and it hasn't been all that easy of a recovery. She woke up angry and hasn't been all that happy for the last five days. Today she actually felt good enough to get out of the house for a few hours, that's a good start.

Emma kicked off all our surgeries in early 2017 and now I declare she has ended the Raabe MASH unit. Time to pay off the medical bills and discard all that leftover pain medication.

 Liv was the best munchkin, old lady, monkey and OZ-ian in her middle school musical, The Wizard of Oz. The amount of extra time these kids put in was remarkable. I didn't even have to do anything but was exhausted by the final day of rehearsal! Our girl had 4 costume changes and one line but lots of singing and dancing. Proud of you Liv!

The Secret Santa reveal middle school style

It was a last minute proposal by Olivia which meant I spent an entire day preparing but it's worth it. I love getting to know the girls' friends and hosting a party is the perfect way to do it. 

More Tendon Damage = Shoulder Surgery

I started this post about one week after surgery but couldn't make my brain form a sentence. We'll see if I am much better now at 22 days PO (post operation). Probably not. :)

Here's my story...

After a successful trip to Trader Joe's, I was chatting with a friend on the phone and about to finish putting away all my groceries when I bent over to pick up an empty bag from the floor. While exerting almost no effort at all, I heard and felt I loud pop in my shoulder. It was slightly uncomfortable but not a big deal until I tried to move my arm. I had no lateral or front extension of my left arm. For the next two days I tried to hide my malady until my most observant child noticed. She's such a tattle tail, Reagan told our physical therapist that I couldn't use my arm. From there I had an evaluation the next morning and because Claire the PT is amazing, I was in the surgeon's office the following morning. Another heavily medicated MRI followed two days later which confirmed what all medical professionals suspected, I had a torn rotator cuff (aka subscapularis) and bicep tendon. Surgery was lurking somewhere over the horizon but my hopes were wait until after summer.

Here's an interesting side note to this story. As I was examined first by my PT, then the surgical resident and finally my soon to be surgeon ALL three asked if I had taken any antibiotics. This is strange right? It turns out to be a very serious question in which we are still investigating. There is a very dangerous family of antibiotics that cause tendon tears in healthy tissue as well as several other side effects. These drugs should be avoided at all costs. You can ask your doctor for an alternative even if you are allergic to penicillin. I have torn 5 tendons in nine months under very strange circumstances. I am praying that I do not have damage from taking a fluoroquinolone, I prefer to chalk this up to some bizarre injuries. There will be a later post but please research Cipro, Floxin, Levaquin etc. You can find info on WebMD, FDA site, Mayo Clinic and many many other sites as well as blogs of people with permanent damage.

Back to surgery...

Four weeks after my initial injury and 15 PT appointments later I leaned on my left arm during a chat with my daughter and experienced a ripping of tissue and tremendous pain that would last for the next week. Back to PT and straight to the surgeon...surgery was scheduled for 5 days later. It turns out that my bicep tendon was damaged more along with the rupture of a 3rd tendon, the supraspinatus which is on top of the shoulder. My injuries were all in the shoulder but 3 completely different areas. Let's face it, I enjoy giving my doctors a challenge.

Pre Surgery but Post Drugs

2 of the 5 little incisions
There's one large incision that goes into my armpit

Way too many drugs!!!

Outside with Liv 8 days PO

Here are a few things I have learned along the way...

-Let people help

-Get the best surgeon

-Sleep deprivation isn't just for new mamas

-Find your daily gratitude

-Let the house be messy

-Rest

-Take the least medicine you can but take what you need

-Drink copious amounts of water

-I have a love/hate relationship with my brace

-Getting dressed one handed is not for the weak

-You will be surprised by people

-Look at recovery based on today vs last week

-Have good books and movies on hand

-Get adjusted

-Get over yourself

-Laugh often, it helps reduce the pain

-Get your favorite drinks, it makes you happy (McAlister's Tea)

-When you over do it you pay for it later

-God is still Good!!

Milestones of Hamstring Recovery

Identifying and meeting milestones has not been a significant part of my thought process. Now that I think about it, I don't seem to be a person who does a lot of goal setting. I remember doing a goal setting exercise when I worked at a church in Phoenix. I hated doing it. I wonder if that is the symptom of some underlying neuroses. ;) Flashback to potty training days, I am certain there was milestone planning, I just don't remember. In the last year, without realizing it I have become much more focused on reaching milestones. Some of these milestones have been suggested by medical professionals and some by me (the patient).

The purpose of milestone-based thinking is to help choose the right goals. It is counter-productive to be laying on the couch 2 weeks after hamstring surgery thinking only of running a marathon. At 2 weeks PO (post op) I was elated to be able to put a little weight on my right leg and began to focus on my next milestone of bending at the hip. Today, I am nearly 6 mo PO and my next milestone is running. Excitement builds these last eleven days until I can put a big checkmark in the "running again" box.

Yesterday I spent an extended amount of time searching and planning my running milestones of 2018.

• February 11 begin running
• April 21 local 5K race
• April 22 sign up for a 1/2 marathon
• Summer 10K race
• October 21 Des Moines, IA 1/2 marathon

What I went through was rough but conquerable.  If you want to understand my injury and surgery better you can read about it by clicking here. Instead of feeling sorry for my aging self I decided to beat the odds and come back better than before. I share these goals so you can become part of my road to recovery. I am a bit frightened to run again and have no idea if I will be able to run 3.1 miles in April much less 13.1 in October. Posting this is my way of asking for your support, prayer and encouragement, not just in running these physical races but in walking along side me in my life journey. 

I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus is calling us.  Phillipians 3:14

Slique Challenge

Working out has always been something I love to do but for some reason over the last 19 years I have found reasons to not workout. It's the girls, the laundry, time constraints, pure exhaustion, family activities, surgery or whatever else popped up. I guess I forgot that it's of the utmost importance to take care of myself so I can take care of my family. Over the years I have slowly gained...well let's just say a lot of weight. The final blow was injuring my hamstring in July, surgery, 6 weeks on the couch and then a slow recovery. In December I started PT and walking on the treadmill but by the end of 2018 I want to say I have completed a half marathon. This is going to take a tremendous amount of work but who doesn't love a challenge?

This "condition" didn't happen over night or even over a couple of months so recovery will take many months as well. Competition drives me so I joined the Slique Challenge. This is a weight loss challenge and as much as I would love to win the grand prize 60 or 120 days from now I also will be a winner if I drop several pounds and re-enter the active life I use to have. My first goal is to shed 20 pounds.

I wasn't going to tell anyone about this challenge. To be honest, I'm afraid of failure and more afraid of anyone knowing about my failure. What a defeatist attitude! As soon as I click on "PUBLISH" to this post, it's out in the light for everyone to know, and I believe that is the first step towards success.

Instead of using my kids as an excuse I am using them as a reason! 

I took measurements and a horrifying picture of myself. One of the worst days of my life. UGH! When they say the truth sets you free, I literally almost ran away. The truth of that image and those numbers were staggering. Instead of posting that sports bra and shorts pic I am posting the picture that serves as my short term inspiration. The picture on the left is from May 2017 at Emma's graduation. The picture on the right is from November 2017. The face says it all!

Here's to Health in 2018!

This body is the temple of Christ and it's time to treat it as such!

Road to Recovery

Reagan is ten weeks PI (post injury) and six weeks PO (post operation) Already she is hitting benchmarks that remind us "she is going to get there!" From the beginning I told Reagan we weren't going to focus on what she can't do or how long it was going to take to get back on the pitch. Rather we would take a look at the next goal and look back at how far she had come in one week, two weeks, etc. It's been a great plan, so far. 

I love lists and spreadsheets. I haven't made a spreadsheet or line graph (yet) but it is very encouraging to look back at what Reagan has accomplished thus far.

MRI before surgery 10/18

Getting around before
surgery. 10/17

3 days PO 11/17

BENCHMARKS
1. 1st Doc appointment and MRI (Oct 18)
2. Rehab to heal MCL and regain ROM for surgery
3. Surgery (Nov 14) This was a big one...she got sick 4 days before surgery and there was a strong chance that surgery would be post-poned. I loaded her up on several essential oils and surgery safe supplements all day long. Her body fought it well enough to go under.
4. Start Physical Therapy (Nov 17)
5. Pooping...no one wants to talk about it but anyone on painkillers KNOWS this is an issue!
6. Off Pain Meds
7. Back to school (Nov 27) and back to soccer practice.
8. Two week PO appointment (Nov 28)
9. No Crutches (Dec 11)
10. 6 week doctor appoint (Dec 27) = no brace and start driving

I hope I can get the video below to work. For 2 weeks I dropped Reagan off at PT for her hour long visit. A couple weeks I stayed to watch her progress. The emotions caught me off-guard. Seeing Reagan walk, march and ride the bike without crutches, a brace or even the ace bandage was overwhelming. Reagan is doing so well and even though there's so much she is waiting to do, she can be very proud of her accomplishments in such a short time. Then two days later at PT again she was kicking a soccer ball. Claire, her therapist understands the psychological side of this injury, touching the ball is critical!

Dr Arnold explained today that the next six weeks can be difficult. To this point she has had very visible benchmarks but weeks 6-12 PO are all about strengthening which happens gradually without much fanfare. It's also a time when athletes such as Reagan begin to think, "I feel good, I can do that." WRONG!!! No you can't! Use caution! Think about the future not the immediate limitations! These are difficult things for a 16 year old to do but Reagan is up for the challenge.

On a personal note, Reagan and I attend physical therapy together from time to time. Our injuries are completely different, our bodies are completely different but we are both extremely competitive. Claire (PT) put us both on little wheeled chairs to scoot across the floor. First thing she says, "THIS IS NOT A RACE!" To that Reagan exclaimed, "OH YES THIS IS A RACE!" Ha She makes me laugh. Only because I have to enjoy it while I can... I won! :) My leg hurt later that night but that's ok, it's been many years since I have been able to beat Reagan at anything physically.

All joking aside, I am so proud of Reagan's hard work and determination to return better than ever. There's something to be said for a warrior who can fight the battle on the field but also the one that rages within. You've got this kid! Keep working hard and reach your dreams.