A few years ago our family moved to a different part of the city which meant my youngest had to change elementary schools. Remember in the 80's when Chicago sang, "you never know what you have until it's gone." I miss that school. The new school isn't terrible, it's just cold. Now Liv rides the bus every morning. ( I LOVE IT!!) You won't understand this unless you have gone through the drop off/pickup lanes around ANY school. YIKES! Take your vitamin B so you won't yell at someone. But that is where the benefits end for me. Sure Livie has met some new friends who live close by and for the most part that is a good thing. One neighborhood girls is exceptional, she's the mean little bully who lives up the street, let's call this child "Jenny". "Jenny" is intelligent, determined, bold, fearless, driven and even cute. I'm sure she will make a great CEO some day but for the last 3 years I have watched her manipulate, ostracize and dictate her little friend group. While in our home she has criticized my older daughters and even my husband and me. What in the World? With all that said, my daughter is still drawn to her. Why? Is this a girl thing? Is this a self-confidence issue? Is she trying to just make it through the day? Is she oblivious to the ugly behavior of her neighborhood classmate?
This morning, just like many others, I watched Liv approach the line at the bus stop. She joined the little group of 5th grade girls talking and giggling. Instead of making room for my daughter, this girl turned her back to Liv to keep her out of the circle. Sadly, this stuff happens even in adulthood but here is the kicker. Friday after school "Jenny" knocked on our door to play at our house. I guess all the cool kids were busy. "Jenny" sends mixed messages, one day you are in and the next you are out. What a bully!
There are several challenges...
1. Remember that I am an adult and she is a child. It's not right for me to feel so negatively towards this child. Adulting is hard.
2. Teach my child that friendship does not look like that and yet she still needs to be kind to "Jenny".
3. Teach my child that God has given each of us gifts, talents and personality traits. They shape us into who we are daily. We are to use those gifts to bring glory to Him, not tear down others.
4. Remember this too shall pass.
5. I need to pray for "Jenny" and her parents.
Here's the deal, this isn't my first rodeo. First of all I was a brat but turned out to be a pretty compassionate adult. Second, I have two other daughters who have each dealt with bullies and they have come out on the other side better for it. Third, I KNOW that I may not see everything that happens. If any parents are reading this, let me say that again. I MAY NOT SEE EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS. It's true in parenting and it's true in kids' relationships. Our most precious docile children can be little turds when we aren't looking. God loves "Sandy" just like he loves my Olivia. Thank goodness He loves us when we aren't lovable and He sees the goodness He created in each of us. Let's remember to love one another, especially those we feel don't deserve our love.
Now that I have vented a little I can move on with my day. It's beautiful weather in Nebraska, what a perfect way to start my week.
Blessings to each of you reading this blog of a mama.
And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.
1 John 4:16
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