Through a long process of moving my dear loving aunt to Omaha I have seen many defining moments for myself as well as several other family members. My husband is simply amazing, truly a man who lives for Jesus and let Christ's love pour out at the most difficult of times. Thank you Chris for being more than I ever dreamed of.
To be completely honest, my mind is not clear enough right now to share the story of the last 30 hours but I can tell you it has had incredible lows, moments of peace and much uncertainty. My first action was to ask God for strength and wisdom, He never fails me. My second action was to drive through Starbucks, that's where I cried the first time. How odd, thinking "I'm a pillar of strength" but then the voice of a friend and the smell of my magic potion (chai latte or caramel latte, both because they are pretty cheap) give me the permission to release all that worrisome junk I have hidden inside. Then time, quiet time, time to listen to God instead of just barking for answers. Aw, that is a defining moment for me. I remember the context of the verse God gives me, Mordecai is talking to Esther but can't remember the verse exactly. I know God has brought me to this position for such a time as this.
Now more than 12 hours later I sit in a hospital room with a lady whom I have loved dearly all my life, watching her die. The pain I feel is tremendous. I am selfishly begging her to live and yet pleading that she will let go of this life for one that is waiting for her in Heaven. There will be no pain, no JIA, no liquid diet, no confusion, no anxiety...rather a loving Father with His arms held out welcoming His daughter home for all of eternity. I want to know what comes next and when will it happen.
He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. Ecclesiastes 3:11
I have seen tonight that there are tough times ahead. Making final plans and some other things that I guess I can't or shouldn't mention here. There will be more defining moments. What I do may be the example that brings someone closer to Christ or gives them the excuse to walk further away from Christ. Who I am and what I'm made of will show in those moments of adversity. Pray for me that all I do and say is a witness for my Lord and Saviour.
1 comment:
Beautiful post. Made me cry. You're doing right by Aunt Delma. I just keep thinking these past hours how grateful I know she is that you came alongside her these past months when she needed to not be alone.
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